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Series 11 countdown: Cheap Alfa Challenge

We’ve long said on Top Gear that you can’t call yourself a true petrolhead unless you’ve owned an Alfa Romeo.

Only when you’ve experienced the passion, the soul and the racing pedigree of a car from the pride of Milan will you know what it is to truly love cars. It’s one of the few things Jeremy, Richard and James absolutely agree on.

Right then, said the Top Gear office, if that’s what you three think then you can go off and buy a sub-£1,000 Alfa each and we’ll set you a series of tests to prove that what you’re actually getting into here isn’t passion and soul but inconvenience, heartache and a sudden mysterious puddle of greenish liquid appearing under the passenger seat.

Except in the case of Hammond’s chronically ill-judged purchase, which didn’t have anything under the passenger seat except a hole through which you could see the road.»